Archive | Dating

Going Out on Your First Openly Gay Date

Most gay people, today, realized early in their lives that they were gay and proceeded to deal with that knowledge in various ways. If they were lucky, their families were supportive of the fact and they never had to hide who they were. Others weren’t so lucky and had to move far away from home in order to live their lives or they had to experience the pain of hiding their true selves. No matter how you come out of the proverbial closet, there’s always that very first date that you have as publically gay person. Whether there should be or not, there will be some differences from going out on a first date as a straight person.

First of all, people will probably notice you and will see that you and your date are gay. So what? While they may feel that what you’re doing is “abnormal,” you’ll feel completely right about the choices you’ve made, and that’s what’s important. However, you don’t have to go overboard to make it clear that you’re on a gay date just as straight people don’t need to overdo things on their dates. Treat your date with courtesy and respect and expect the same in return.

Most couples usually hold hands or put their arms around each other at some point during a date. If you and your date are comfortable enough with each other to do that, there’s no need to restrain yourselves. Now, something that you may want to keep in mind is to not conduct a full make out session in the middle of a restaurant or on a public park bench. That’s considered bad form even for straight couples. There’s no need to intentionally call attention to yourselves. Too many gay couples feel the need to “prove” something in the beginning of their publically gay lifestyle. Don’t feel that way. Simply enjoy your time with your date and behave like a respectful human being should.

Many gay couples find that it’s easier to visit prominently gay establishments when they go out. It’s simply more comfortable and they can be positive that no one is judging them. There are many clubs, restaurants and resorts that cater to primarily gay clientele and the majority of these are quite upscale. Your first openly gay date may go better if you choose to visit somewhere like this. That’s not to say that you can’t enjoy a movie in a more heterosexual environment. It just means that, if you’re nervous, you may want to start out somewhere that you KNOW you’ll be accepted and encouraged.

Something important that gay couples need to remember is that the world is becoming more enlightened every day. Older members of a predominantly judgmental society are also getting older with each passing day. As they die off, younger and less judgmental people are taking their places. Of course, there will always be that certain group of people that feel only THEIR way is right, but they’re going to always be around no matter how long the world turns on its axis.

So just go on your first publically gay date and love it, no matter what anyone is saying about you! If they’re talking about YOU, they’re giving someone ELSE a break.

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Blind Dates Aren’t Always Nightmares

Blind dates have always received a bad rep for the most part. These are events that truly frighten people whether they’ve ever been on a blind date or not. That’s because, many times, they were set up by thoughtless people that didn’t even really consider how much the potential couple may actually have in common. Admittedly, these types of blind dates CAN and usually ARE complete nightmares, but it doesn’t have to always be that way.

In this current age of dating services and online dating websites, blind dates are almost the norm now. Of course, you DO have the option of getting to know the person you’re considering going on a date with prior to the date itself because of the online contact between the two of you. There’s chatting, exchange of emails, and even phone calls, if you want. By the time you actually meet for coffee or dinner, you’ve got somewhat of an idea about the person you’re meeting.

True blind dates are an entirely different matter. These happen when your best friend sets you up with her brother in law, cousin in law, guy from her husband’s office, or a variety of other choices. You’ve never laid eyes on this guy and know absolutely NOTHING about him, yet, you’ll be having dinner with him at your friend’s home. It is blind dates of this sort that can be trouble. If you haven’t been consulted at all prior to this date, it can be even worse.

However, look at it from another viewpoint. Suppose that your friend, sister, or whoever is setting you up on this blind date, has spoken at length with you about the qualities you must have in any man that you would consider having a relationship with. Suppose, also, that this person has spent time telling you all about the man that you’ll be meeting. In fact, you almost feel as if you know this man by the time the actual date comes about. Assume that the man in question has also undergone the same process regarding you. When it’s these things that have been considered before a blind date, there’s a very good chance that you and this new man will hit it off.

Another thing that is a better idea for blind dates is to double date. So when you meet this new man, you know that there won’t be any chances of those uncomfortable silences when you don’t know what to say. If you’ve got really good friends, they’ll know if the time comes that they should make themselves scarce and let the two of you get better acquainted. On the other hand, they’ll also be able to see if the entire exercise is one in futility, and they’ll know to call it a night at an appropriate time.

When there’s enough preparation beforehand, many blind dates turn out to be very successful and can even end in marriage. The thing to remember is that they must be orchestrated in just the right way to stand a chance of working out.

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Singles and Holiday Desperation

The holidays bring out a lot of different feelings in people that are single. They can feel depressed, lonely, sad and various other emotions, but the worst thing they can feel is desperate. This is when some single people can do some of the most outlandish and crazy things just so they won’t be alone for the holidays, and it’s all done out of desperation.

If you’re single and you see the holiday season looming ahead, please stop and think before you make some very foolish decisions. Read on to see what some of these bad ideas are:

Hitting on your best friend’s brother or sister: It should be obvious as to why this is a terrible idea, especially if you’ve never had the slightest interest in this person in the past. You most likely still aren’t interested, and when you dump the brother or sister before Valentine’s Day, you’ll most likely also lose your best friend.

Engaging in one night stands: This is such an awful idea that it’s amazing anyone would depend on it. Yet, people do it every year. Another time this one comes into play is just before Valentine’s Day. Just remember that someone you meet somewhere that you talk to for a few hours before hopping into bed with is most likely not going to be the love of your life. Not only that, you may not even be able to stand them by Christmas.

Being set up by your friends: Lots of people that are part of a couple will want to do everything possible to get their single best friends hooked up with someone. Most of the time, you decide that you don’t WANT to be set up by your friends. However, when the holidays are close at hand, you may become desperate enough to actually let your friends set you up with that accountant guy they know, or the computer geek they just KNOW would be perfect for you.

Hooking up with a stranger online: You may not have been someone in the past that would resort to hunting online for a partner, but the holidays can make people do strange things. If you’re even tempted to do this, please consider that it’s always safety first when you’re meeting someone from online. Stick to the same rules that you would have in place if the holidays WERE NOT coming up. The last thing you want to do is hook up with a dangerous person without knowing it. There’s no point in having a new partner if it means you won’t be around for the holidays.

There may be other crazy methods you can come up with for meeting someone in time for the holidays, but if they’re as bad or worse than the ones on this list, please re-think things. Being single for the holidays is not the worst thing that can happen to you. If you’ve got close friends and family to spend time with, that can be almost as good as being part of a couple.

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Holiday Gift Ideas for the Woman You Just Started Dating

As they say, timing is everything. While you may have been hoping that you wouldn’t be spending the holidays as a single man again, it may also not have occurred to you that meeting a new woman so close to Christmas presents a dilemma of a different kind. That dilemma revolves around whether or not you should buy her a gift, and if you DO buy her one, what should that gift be? You don’t need to stress so much about this. Simply read on for some gift ideas for this very problem:

Flowers: There are very few women that don’t enjoy a beautiful bouquet of their favorite flowers. This is a great gift for someone that you’ve only just met and gone out with a couple of times. Send a special holiday bouquet that can include other things such as stuffed animals, coffee mugs, and balloons.

Day Planner: This is a gift for the career woman on the go. So if your new lady is also a very busy one, this can be the perfect choice. Even with all of the electronic calendars available now, many people also like to write down important things.

Her Favorites: You should have discussed your favorite writers, music and bands, and movies by now. Get her the newest bestseller by her favorite writer, autographed if possible. Copies of the latest CDs by her favorite bands or even tickets to a concert work perfectly.

Scents: Gift baskets filled with bath and beauty items in a scent that she likes is another welcome and loved present. It’s not TOO personal but, at the same time, says that you’ve been paying attention to the perfume she wears.

Day Spa: If you live in an area that has a great spa, buy her a full day of being pampered. This will be particularly welcomed if she’s a busy career woman with little time to actually kick back and relax. It’s not too personal but it does show that you’ve got some good taste in choosing gifts.

Coffee Basket: Nothing is more perfect for someone that is a coffee connoisseur than a gift basket filled with various types of exotic and flavorful coffees. You can throw in a coffee mug and even a small coffee maker if you like.

Gift Certificates: This may seem impersonal, but if you know where this new woman loves to shop, nothing is more welcome than the freedom to go pick something out for herself. If you’re not sure what shop she frequents the most, you can always get a gift certificate at her favorite shopping mall and make sure it’s redeemable in any store she chooses to shop at.

Any of these gift ideas will work beautifully if you’re just starting to date a potentially promising woman. You’ll be showing her that you already care enough to pay attention to what she likes, and that you’ve got good taste to go along with your attentiveness.

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Holiday Gift Ideas for Him When You’ve Just Started Dating

For many new couples, they meet just before the holidays start, or they may even meet DURING the holidays. When this happens, you may wonder what to get this guy for a gift. You may not even be sure that he will be getting anything for you and that makes things even stranger. Following are some ideas for the new guy in your life:

Books: If your new guy is a reader, he’s probably mentioned his favorite writer to you. If he hasn’t, then you can take a look at his bookshelves to see who he seems to have the most books by. Take note of the latest book he doesn’t have and put that on your list. Maybe you can find a way to get an autographed copy of a book for him.

Music: This sort of goes along with book idea. Hopefully, you’ve discussed your favorite music and bands. Then you can pick up a couple of music CDs for him or, if his favorite band is going to be performing in the area, you can surprise him with tickets to go see them.

Events: If this new guy enjoys certain sports events or plays, you can get tickets for the two of you to attend one that he’s been particularly excited about. Keep in mind that YOU don’t have to also enjoy the event you’ll be attending because it is HIS gift. Hopefully, he’ll give you something that YOU really love in return.

Poker Carousel with Cards and Chips: A poker chip set is usually something that most guys love. Although, you may want to be sure that he’s a poker player, or that he’s at least interested in learning to play. If so, this is a rather inexpensive and safe gift for a new guy in your life during the holidays.

Beer Making Kit: If your guy likes beer, this can be a lot of fun to try out for himself. Maybe you can even wrangle an invitation to help him try it out. It could lead to an evening of fun for you both.

Bose In Ear Headphones: For the music lover, these are the perfect gift. He’ll put these on and feel as if he’s actually in the recording studio listening to his favorite band. They’re a bit pricey but not so much that you would look like you’re doing a bit too much.

Those are some ideas that you can start off with, but if none of them work for you, then you should simply make a selection on what you know about this guy. Even if you’ve only been dating him a few weeks, you should still know some of the basics about him. Take that information and pick up something for him that you’re relatively sure he’ll enjoy. This is the one instance when it really IS the thought that counts. You don’t have to choose the perfect gift for a guy you’ve been on two dates with. Just show him that you do like him by choosing something nice.

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Dating Ineffective Divorced Fathers

Something that a high percentage of single people come across these days is the likelihood of dating someone that’s divorced. Many of these divorced people also have children. While this has just become an accepted fact in the dating world of today, there is one problem that can come up, and this one just may not be so easily solved. That issue involves children that are simply horribly behaved.

Consider this scenario: You meet a great guy. Yes, he’s divorced, but big deal. You’ve got exes in your past, too. The important thing is that he’s wonderful and the two of you have been enjoying each other’s company for a couple of months now. He’s so pleased with the progress that he’s decided it’s time for you to meet his children. This is a very important step and you know what it means.

On the day that you’re to meet the little darlings, you do your best to look nice, but not intimidating. You want to be approachable and likeable. So while you don’t get overly dressed, you ARE wearing some new jeans and a blouse.

When you arrive at your man’s house, you can hear the shrieking before you even ring the doorbell. As the door opens, you can look past him and see that his normally tidy home is a shambles with children ripping and tearing through house, jumping on furniture and generally being awful. At this point you’re afraid to go inside but it’s too late now.

That’s only the beginning of a terrible evening. Before it’s over, these kids have called you names, thrown food at you, and told you that you will NEVER be their “mommy.” If you’re really lucky, they may have thrown in that they want you to die so that their daddy will get back together with their mommy. By the time you leave to go home, your new clothes are ruined and you’re exhausted.

Obviously, the man you’re dating, as the father of these kids, should have exerted more control over them. However, it seems that he’s chosen to go the route of guilt ridden divorced parents everywhere and let them do whatever they want. He has no idea that he’s raising budding little monsters by not offering any type of discipline.

Now, depending on how you really feel about this guy, it may be the time to walk away. You’ve been given a glimpse into what a future with him will be like because those kids aren’t going to change their attitude towards you. As they get older, they’ll do worse than just throw food at you. So unless you’re a psychologist by trade, you may want to escape while you can. Seriously look at what you’ve been shown about this man you care about. He seems very lacking in parenting skills. Think about how effective a father he would be if you and he ever had children.

Yes, there are many things to consider now that you’ve seen the other side of him. Whether you stay or go is totally up to you. But if you choose to stick it up, you can’t say later on that you weren’t warned.

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Loving a Sagittarius Man

If you’re dating a man that lavishes you with love and admiration of the silent variety, you’re most likely dating a Sagittarian. He’s not going to volunteer a lot about what he’s feeling and why he chose to be with you. If you really want to know why he’s with you and not someone else, you’ll probably have to question him closely. You’re probably going to get the answers you want to hear. A Sagittarius man is more of a closed book when it comes to his feelings. You’ll have to get that book opened and then turn it one page at a time.

As all Zodiac signs possess individual traits, the Sagittarius man is no different. He has a set of qualities that make him the unique individual that he is. He’s charming, affectionate, loving and a free spirit. Being with this man will make you feel as if you’re part of a special circle.

The two important parts of a Sagittarius man are his optimism and his freedom. Don’t try to tie down this man or you’ll never see him again once he escapes. He also doesn’t take well to being strung along. His desire for the best of both worlds will present a challenge to you if you want a relationship with him. He’s practical but never hopeless. Most men that believe in practicality don’t believe in waiting for good things to come to them. The Sagittarius man is a bit different on this. While being practical, he’ll also carry fervent hope and always see his glass as half full rather than half empty.

Something you can count on from a Sagittarius man is complete fidelity and love. Once he’s decided he’s in love with you, he’s totally yours. If you’re the woman that can turn your flirtatious and lazy Sagittarius man into a devoted lover and motivated individual, you’ve got a man for life. He won’t do this because you made him a changed man, but more because he’s fallen truly and completely in love with you.

When you’re not sure where the relationship is going with your Sagittarius man, you may want to consult a third party and get an expert opinion. Many times, it’s necessary to make some tough choices. But if you can truly see a future with this man, dig your heels in and stay put. If you don’t see a real future with him, go ahead and have some fun and then move on. You can do so without feeling guilty because a Sagittarius man is quite the flirt when he’s single and he won’t be alone for very long. If you throw him back into the dating sea, he’ll move on quite quickly from you and be with someone else before you know it.

Due to his flirtatious nature, women are intensely attracted to him. However, he’s quite immune to what they may expect from him. This is the biggest reason that you must tread carefully when you choose to get involved with a Sagittarius man.

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Making Online Dating Less Scary

Online dating has become one of the more popular ways of meeting people for possible romance these days. There are hundreds of thousands of dating websites online now. They cover every type of dating and interacting that you can possibly think of. People join these sites every day and start their search for the perfect companion.

Even though this type of dating has really caught on, there are still some people that find the entire process quite scary. They don’t like the idea of hooking up with someone that they’ve only chatted to over the computer or on the phone. These are the same people that dislike blind dates even when they’re introduced by trusted friends. However, you shouldn’t back away from online dating just because you’re afraid. There are ways to make this experience a lot less scary and a lot more fun.

Decide ahead of time what your personal boundaries will be when it comes online dating. For instance, there may be certain days of the week that work better as date nights for you. If so, you need to stick to those nights even if his schedule doesn’t match yours. Try to work out something for the next week, instead. If he tries to push you for something faster, you may want to drop him because there should be no sense of urgency about a date. He may be looking for something else.

You also need to be yourself on a dating site. Just because you’re meeting someone in a more unconventional way doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Remember, whoever you are when you meet someone is who you’ll have to continue to be. That’s why it’s always best to be exactly who you are.

Another thing you need to do is be clear about what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship, then say so. If you just want someone to have sex with, be honest about that, too. Don’t send mixed signals and, hopefully, you won’t receive any in return. When you state the type of relationship that you’re looking for, that will usually stop you from wasting time with someone that wants something completely different.

Make a list of qualities that you want in a potential partner. You’ll probably have trouble finding someone that ticks all the boxes on your list, but if you keep to the most important qualities, that should point you in a good direction. If you’re not TOO particular about what you want, you’ll find someone a lot faster.

Make some dating rules that will keep you safe. Don’t give someone your home address or let him come to pick you up on the first date. Agree to meet at the place of your date as long as this place is well lit and has plenty of people around. Take your own transportation in case you need to make a fast exit. It’s also a good idea to take along your cell phone.

Once you have connected with someone that seems promising, stay true to your dating rules. Don’t meet him until YOU’RE ready. If he isn’t patient enough to wait, he’s not worth your time.

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How to Get the Most from Your Online Dating Search

Once you’ve decided to take the plunge and get involved in online dating, there are things you can do to make your search for the perfect dating partner much easier. If you’re familiar with the term SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, you know that’s the secret ingredient to having a successful business. Some people have started to bring this very technique into their online dating search.

There are some things that have come to light with experts in these matters and they have been proven to work when it comes to landing the man you’re looking online. Once you try these things, you’ll see the difference in the type of men you attract.

To begin with, you should wear red in your profile picture. It seems that men are more attracted to red than to any other color. Since physical attraction is the beginning spark of most relationships, your profile picture is a vital part of getting an online date. Take whatever time is needed to get a flattering picture of yourself as you look now. Don’t use an old photo and try to Photoshop it. That’s simply not fair and the man you meet for a date is going to notice that you don’t look the same now. So, use only a little makeup, show moderate cleavage and a deliver a high wattage smile. Look directly into the camera and take the picture from the waist up.

Commit to a certain number of visits to your dating profile every day. Each time you visit your profile, change a little something in it. That will make you turn up new all the time in the database of the site. A lot of online dating sites maintain a list of new users, recently logged in users, and users that have recently updated their profiles that shows up on their homepage. As long as you keep visiting your profile, you’ll keep being seen on the homepage. This also indicates how serious you are about finding a good relationship.

The next thing you can use to your advantage is the way you handle your messages. Any messages that you send to your potential dates should be on a more personal note. Don’t use a generic message to send out to every man that messages you. Keep it specific for each man that you’re chatting to based on what their profiles say about them and what caught your eye. In addition, when you’re describing yourself, use some simple keywords that show up all the time in searches. These can be things like love, sports, painting, cooking, dancing and more. Don’t lie, either.

The tips mentioned here aren’t very difficult to follow but they can make all the difference in the world as to whether or not you get the man you would most like to go on a date with. All of these things are geared to bring you to the attention of the men that you would consider dating potential. Try them out and see just how far they’ll get you.

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Is Sex On a First Date Advisable?

In the 21st century, dating rules are a lot more relaxed and laid back than they have been in the past. Even though there has always been a lot of “playing” as long as people have been dating, typically people were divided up into two separate categories: Good and Bad. For a very long time, it was a case of the Good Old Boys Network that were “sowing their wild oats” with Bad Girls. Those girls never got to meet parents unless, of course, she was unlucky enough to get pregnant. Then there might have been a shotgun wedding.

Fortunately, this way of thinking has decreased over the years, although it’s never really completely gone. However, now women have the option of enjoying healthy and pleasurable sex lives without being forced to feel any shame about it. Obviously, this is a much healthier viewpoint, but there are still a few questions lurking in the back ground. One of these is whether or not it’s advisable to have sex with someone on the first date.

Believe it or not, there’s not a cut and dried answer to this dilemma. There are many factors involved before deciding what the best answer is. To begin with, if you’re going out with someone that you’ve never met before, there’s no way that you’ll know him well enough by the end of the evening to hop into bed with him. He may be charming, gorgeous, sexy, and he may say all of the right things. That doesn’t mean that he’s safe to sleep with.

It’s particularly a no-no when you meet someone in a club or a bar. Generally speaking, engaging in one night stands aren’t very smart ideas for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the spread of STDs. There are other reasons, too, for not having sex with someone you’ve just met or even gone out on a first date with. The increase in stalkers over the past few years has simply left no way of being able to spot these guys ahead of time. If you play into their hands by having sex with them immediately, you’ll never get rid them because they’re convinced that you’re meant to be together forever.

The one situation where it may be fine to sleep with someone on a first date is if this is a guy that you’ve known for a while. It’s not unusual for good friends, or even best friends, to suddenly realize that they have deeper feelings for each other. In this case, you already know each other quite well and have probably been ready to take things to the next level for a while. So it’s certainly acceptable to come home from a lovely evening together and end it with some amazing sex.

In the end, it’s usually not the best idea to have sex with someone on the first date. Granted, there can be special situations where it’s not a TERRIBLE idea, but you really should think carefully before making that life changing decision.

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Loving a Pisces Man

If the man you’re in love with is a dreamer, secretive, and hard to pin down, you’ve probably got yourself a Pisces. This can either be a dream come true for you or one of the most frustrating experiences in your life. As Pisces men are notorious for getting involved with the wrong women, you’ll note that he’s always questioning whether you’re the right one to be with him or not.

A Pisces man wants his life to be stress free as well as his relationships. He doesn’t want to be restricted and must have women in his life that stir his emotions. When he’s faced with issues that are complicated to him, he retreats back into his own little world and puts back on his rose colored glasses. It’s easy for this temperamental man to pretend all’s right within his relationship even when things are clearly not fine. On the other hand, when things are going bad in his life, he goes into self-destruction mode, so it’s better if he lives in denial.

If you’re involved with a Pisces, you’ll need to be firm and strong because he’s quite indecisive and will take up roost on the fence rather than come down on either side of it. You’ll have to take the lead in this relationship, and it may be this man’s need to be nurtured that attracted you in the first place. He needs to be taken care of and that can call to a very strong instinct in women.

Pisces men are very mysterious and this makes for a very interesting relationship. Nothing is ever cut and dried with them. There’s always a bit of the unknown and a quality that seems to keep him just out of reach. This can be very intriguing to the right type of woman, and those that like drama in their relationships. What you really want is for your Pisces man to invite you into his secret world where he hides his plans and ideas.

A Pisces man will protect and treasure you like no one you’ve ever been with in your life. He’s a man that has an incredible ability to love the right woman, but you must have lots of patience if you want to be with a Pisces. You’ll also need to be tolerant and accepting of him as well as showing him sympathy and kindness. This is necessary even when he’s showing no motivation.

Something that might make you more than a little crazy is the Pisces man’s tendency to be secretive. With the right amount of patience, you may be able to get him to share some of these secrets with you, but you will never know all of them. He simply isn’t comfortable telling anyone ALL that goes on within his mind. Don’t forget that he dwells in a mental fantasy world.

Love with a Pisces man is filled with drama, both good and bad. You’ll have a relationship that offers plenty of passion and emotion, but also too much distance for many women to deal with. Pisces men love beauty and if he’s pursuing you, then you should definitely be flattered because he finds you beautiful. If you can build a relationship with your Pisces man, you’ll have your happily ever after.

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I Love Him but He’s a Terrible Kisser

Kissing is one of the most intimate things that two people can do with each other. It’s almost as intimate as the act of sex because you’re connected in a truly physical way, especially if you’re using your tongue. When you think about it, you can practically call it Mouth Intercourse. It’s so intimate, in fact, that there are people that will have sex with someone but won’t kiss them unless they’re in love with them. Anyway, you get the point.

Yes, kissing is a beautiful act. However, there are a significant number of people on the earth that just don’t know how to kiss. This can, many times, be a complete turnoff for some women. They may be very attracted to a man and have all kinds of things in common with him, but the first time they kiss, he slobbers all over her face or sucks at her tongue like a vacuum cleaner. Either way, it’s not conducive to endearing him to her. The only way out of that situation is if the two of them have already formed a bond of some sort so that it’s not imperative that he knows how to kiss well.

If you’re a woman whose partner doesn’t seem to have to slightest idea of how to kiss, there are some ways to handle the situation so that it’s not a total disaster. First of all, though, you need to decide if you care enough about him to make the effort. If everything else about him is perfect, then you may want to try to see what you can do about turning his kissing into something more desirable.

Since men can be rather sensitive about such things as being told that they kiss like a Hoover, you’ll probably need to find a way to show him rather than tell him how you want to be kissed. This doesn’t have to be easier said than done, either. Pick one of those times when you’re sort of just having an impromptu make out session and play with the kissing part. If he tries to dive right in, slow him down by nibbling a bit on his bottom lip. You have to take control of the pace in order to get him to pay attention to what you’re doing.

Now, if he just refuses to follow your lead and keeps diving back in like the slobbering Hoover, you may have to tell him in words that it really turns you on to kiss slowly at first. If you can slow him down, you’re got a great chance of teaching him some new kissing techniques. Granted, he may never turn into the best kisser you’ve ever been with, but if you can get him to try out some of the new things you’re showing him, he’ll at least become more exciting as a kisser. It will also let you know that he’s open to learning new techniques, which can be applied to other parts of your love life. That’s ALWAYS handy information to have.

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How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong

So much emphasis is made on finding Mr. Right that sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late. Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:

He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)

He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)

You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)

So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)

He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side. (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)

What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way. (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)

On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)

He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)

He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)

Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.

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Help! His Best Friend is a Woman

It’s certainly not uncommon for a man to have a woman as his best friend. While it’s not uncommon, it CAN become problematic if the relationship is closer than a romantic relationship will ever be for either of them. Sex certainly does not have to be involved for a man and a woman to be monumentally close. It happens all the time with Internet relationships. However, if your partner has a female best friend and she seems to be more a part of your lives and relationship than you would like, you need to do something to change that.

Of course, the first thing you need to figure out is if there’s actually anything inappropriate with their friendship. If your partner is spending hours on the phone with his best friend on a regular basis to the extent that he’s ignoring you; that’s a problem. When you and your partner go out for the evening, if she always has to tag along or, worse yet, he makes plans to go out with her ALONE; there is a very big issue. If she’s invited by your partner to come along on your vacations, then you may definitely want to mention it to him.

Basically, if your partner is treating his “best friend” more like a girlfriend, you’ve got every right to make your feelings known. Hopefully, he’ll be reasonable about it and see your point of view. If he doesn’t, there are a few things to try so that he’ll finally get it.

Once you’ve talked to your partner about including his best friend LESS in your relationship; that should be the end of it. However, if it’s not, and he continues to put her ahead of you, it may be time to go out and find your OWN best friend: a male, of course. This is known as giving him a taste of his own medicine. Show him how it feels to be left at home while you go out for a night on the town with your best friend. Be sure to bring your best friend along on outings and trips with you and your partner. Actually, this could work better than you had hoped if HIS best friend and YOUR best friend hook up.

If his best friend has a partner of her own, you may try sitting down and talking things over with him. It may be that he’s just as frustrated as you are with this friendship and the two of you can work together to tone things down a notch. It’s certainly worth a shot.

Only use an ultimatum as a last resort. Men can be pretty strange creatures when it comes to telling them what they can and cannot do. If you make him choose between his best friend and you, things may not work out like you want them to. Even though he’s not having a sexual relationship with his best friend, he may decide that he would still rather keep her in his life and get rid of you. If that happens, all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned. Next time, you’ll know what to watch for in the BEGINNING of a relationship rather than spotting it after you’ve settled in.

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Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous.

You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too.

Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it.

Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter.

You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas.

Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

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The Wishy-Washy Guy

If you’ve dated a lot of guys in your life, most likely you’ve come across at least one who was wishy-washy. These are the guys that can’t seem to make up their minds about a particular girl and what they want from a relationship. They bounce around more than one of those toy balls that you drop once and it ricochets all over the place. Any girl that’s ever been involved with one these guys can have some lasting scars from the contact. You can’t even really call it a relationship because, the truth is; he was never actually IN a relationship with you.

Chances are you walked away from that hit and run situation feeling much like you had been put through a ringer of sorts. These guys tend to leave their mark on you and, many times, it takes a long time to get back into the saddle again. The good news is that, for most women, it only takes one experience with a wishy-washy guy to keep it from ever happening again.

Now, if you THINK you may be involved with one of these characters, but you’re not sure, have a look at this list of signs:

He comes on like gangbusters in the beginning: Oh yes, these men are excellent when it comes to sweeping you off your feet. That’s why it’s hard to tell, at first, what’s really going on. You see, you’re NEW territory for him and he’s probably coming out of a relationship with someone else, or may just be ready to move on, when you meet him. Either way, you’ve caught his eye and he has no intentions of letting you escape.

Suddenly, he switches gears: About two weeks into dating a wishy-washy guy, he’ll suddenly start acting differently, like something is bothering him. When you press him about it, he tells you that either he’s not over his ex or that he’s met someone that he’s really attracted to but he doesn’t want to hurt you.

He rebounds to you like a ricochet: Hey, it’s only been a couple of weeks, so you can let him go do his thing. It was fun while it lasted, right? Wrong. When you release him; that does something weird to him. Suddenly, YOU’RE the one he MUST have. That other woman means nothing to him. It’s been you all along. Expect this to happen several times while you’re with him.

He packs and leaves every time you have an argument: There seems to be something about the drama of leaving and reuniting. He always comes back, usually within a few hours. Expect this one to ALSO happen many times.

Those are just a few of the signs of a wishy-washy guy. There are others unique to different men but they’ll all have these, typically. The best way to handle this is to not invest too much time and energy into a guy like this. Don’t fall into the trap of believing you can change him because it’s not going to happen. He thrives on variety, drama, and newness and always will. Needless to say, those AREN’T qualities of a true and lasting relationship.

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Remind Yourself What Is Good About Being Single

When you go through the breakup of a relationship, many times it’s helpful to just remind yourself of the GOOD things about being single. If you’re too upset to think of them at the moment, have a look at the following list:

You’ve got free time now: New relationships drain a lot of your time. Now you’ll have time to do all those things that you’ve had to squeeze in, like hobbies, cleaning, laundry and reading a good book.

You’ll be able to fall in love once more: Falling in love with someone is like nothing else in the world. It’s exciting and fun in a way that you don’t experience with anything else. When you’re single, every one new that you meet is a potential new love.

Your time belongs to you: When you’re in a relationship, you need to be considerate by checking in with your partner to share your plans or find out if they have any. As a single person, you can do whatever you want whenever you want.

It’s ok to be weird because no one will know: Everyone has funny little things that they do when they’re by themselves. Whether it’s using a hairbrush as a microphone in front of a mirror and lip synching a favorite song, or doing funny dances naked, no one is going to be around to see you being odd.

You can decorate the way YOU want: Once you’re single, you can decorate your place according to your tastes without having to compromise or consult a partner.

You can make your own vacation choices: When people get a mere one or two weeks yearly to go on a vacation, they tend to be pretty particular about how they spend it. Single people get to choose their own destinations.

You can flirt again: Most couples give up the flirting thing when they become an “item.” Once you’re single, you can give into whatever flirting temptation that you want without feeling guilty. Go ahead and have some fun!

You’ve got more time for your friends: Being in a relationship cuts into your time with your friends even when you don’t mean for it to happen. Now you can make up for lost time.

Your friends will want to go out with you more: You’re usually able to go out and play more when you’re single. So now you can enjoy being the first person invited to hang out, even at a moment’s notice.

You get to have first dates again: Think about how much promise a first date holds. No matter what sort of date it turns out to be, there’s something to be gained from it. If you have a horrible date, you’ll have a story to share with your friends. If it goes well, you’ll get to experience a lot more of those promising “firsts.”

When you think about all of these things that you can do again now that you’re single, it should make you feel a lot better and more positive about all the new, amazing things waiting ahead for you.

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Are You a Good Date?

So many single people today ask themselves why they’re single. They wonder why they don’t have a steady relationship in their lives and, many times, they don’t understand why they’re not asked out more often than they are. Before you start talking about why there’s something wrong with everyone because they just don’t seem to appreciate you, ask yourself some very important questions. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you go out with you? Are you a good date? How long would you date yourself? Would it be long term or short term?

If you need some help answering these questions, try having a look at the following questions:

Are you on time? Punctuality, or lack of it, has a big impact on whether someone will ask you out again. If you’re always late for a date, or you’re too anal about your date being on time, it can make a difference in how someone sees you as dating material.

Are you dressed appropriately? When you go out on a date to see a movie, do you wear an evening dress? Or when you go out to a cocktail party, do you wear jeans and a t-shirt? It’s really important that you dress appropriately for the venue you’ll be going to.

Are you a positive person? No one wants to be around someone that’s always negative and pessimistic. If you’re someone that constantly keeps finding something wrong with everything and can never say anything nice about other people, don’t be too surprised if you don’t date very often.

Do you either silence or turn off your phone when on a date? There are few things ruder than taking a call while you’re on a date. This goes for texting, too. Dates don’t like feeling like they’re not important enough to have your undivided attention.

Do you listen well? People like to have others interested in them so if you’re on a date, you need to ask questions about your date. More importantly, you need to LISTEN to the answers to your questions.

Do you say nice things to your date? Everyone likes to be complimented and if you do that on a date, you’ll most likely get another call.

Do you ask interesting questions? When you ask your date questions, they should be interesting ones so it seems that you really care about the answers.

Do you talk constantly about past relationships? When you’re on a date, leave the past in the past, especially about relationships.

Can you talk about yourself comfortably and reasonably? In talking about yourself, don’t act like you’ve got a lot of secrets. Some secrets are good but you shouldn’t have too many. You also shouldn’t talk about yourself non-stop.

Are you a memorable person? This is really an important question. If you’re someone that will be remembered long after the date is over, you can be sure that you’ll get another invitation.

Now, it’s time to tally up your answers. If you’ve got more than one bad answer, it’s time to work on your dating techniques.

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Tips to Staying Safe While Dating

Every day you see something in the newspaper or on the news about another beautiful young woman going missing, or a body being found. It’s sad to see the life taken from someone with promise or know that the missing are most likely dead. What’s even worse is that, many times, these women were taken or harmed by men that they knew. Some of these were boyfriends, husbands, or fiancés. Another percentage of perpetrators were men that were new acquaintances of these women. Something that you need to know is that you should never assume that you’re one hundred percent safe with someone else, and this is particularly true if you’re meeting someone and going out with them for the very first time.

Before you start to think that you just have to take a chance these days, you should understand that there are ways to still have a good time on a date while remaining safe. If you use some of the following tips, you’ll have a better chance of just going on a great date, having a wonderful time and returning home safely:

Meet a new date at the location: It’s a bad idea to let a complete stranger come straight to your home until you get to know him a bit better. Offer to meet him at the location of your date and provide your own transportation. You’ll always have a way to escape if you need to.

Make sure someone close to you knows where you’re going and who you’re going with: This is one of the best ways to ensure your safety when you’re going out with someone new. In addition, make sure that your date knows that someone is aware of your location and who you’re with. You can do this casually so that it doesn’t sound weird.

Make your first date somewhere bright and crowded: Sometimes it can be even better to meet during the daylight hours for brunch or something along those lines. You can bring along a good friend of yours who can discreetly leave if things are going well.

Don’t go to his place: It’s better to keep your dates in public areas or in the company of other people until you feel completely comfortable. Until there, don’t go home with him or anywhere else that you’re completely alone and vulnerable.

Always have your cell phone with you: As long as you’ve got your fully charged phone with you, there’s a way to call for help if you need to.

If you get a weird vibe about someone, walk away: Never doubt your intuition. If you feel something isn’t quite right about someone you’re out with, remove yourself from the situation as discreetly and quickly as possible.

As long as you follow safety tips that make sense, you should be safe when dating. Just don’t ever assume anything about someone you don’t know all that well. It could be your last mistake. Be careful and use your common sense. Maybe even take some self-defense classes.Then that first date may be the beginning of something beautiful.

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Should You Discuss Past Sexual Partners?

There’s a question that comes up in most relationships that can either be dynamite or disastrous. That question is regarding past sexual partners. It typically comes out in the form of: “Baby, how many people have you had sex with before me?” For most men, women expect the answer to somewhat large. Now, your guy may not have slept with a number of women that compares to someone like Gene Simmons, but you probably figure it’s going to be in at least two to three digits. The thing is, if you asked the question, you need to be prepared to accept the answer without judging him.

The same is true for men that ask their women this question. While, these days, they won’t expect you to have been a virgin by the time they got you, they might not be ready for any number that comes out of your mouth. What this means is that if you’ve got enough notches on your bedpost to put together several baseball teams, you probably want to tone it down a bit or risk being called names that you won’t appreciate.

People may simply be better off not even asking this question. While it’s not as bad as the question of “Were any of them better than me?” or variations of that question, it still may be somewhat risky to ask it or answer it. That’s why you really want to think long and hard about whether or not you truly WANT to know the answer, or if you can HANDLE the answer. This is definitely not the best question for couples in fragile relationships to EVER broach. They shouldn’t even HINT at this question.

Now, there are couples that lead a somewhat kinky lifestyle where the answer to this question would simply spice up their sex life. Many men enjoy the thought of their wives or girlfriends having sex with another man, and many women also like that same fantasy. So for these couples, this question is a perfect one. In fact, if the list isn’t quite long enough, it may be necessary to embellish it just a bit so that the other partner can really get a charge from imagining all of the people on that list having sex with that partner.

Sometimes there’s the nasty surprise that a few men are still living in the past where the women were expected to be virginal until the marriage bed while it was perfectly acceptable for the men to go out and sow some wild oats. If you think there’s even a slim possibility that your man has that type of genetic makeup, either refuse to have the conversation with him or tone down the number of sexual partners you’ve had. Although, in a case such as this, he’s probably not going to be crazy about any number other than one man before him.

This question is just not a great one no matter how it goes. It’s just not a good idea to start a relationship with a lie, and this question can many times force that very thing to happen.

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