If you’re really serious about getting to know each other to form a relationship, honesty and openness are pretty important. These things start building trust and help bring couples closer together. However, there may be times when a relationship suffers from too much honesty. Recently, a study was done among young couples regarding romantic relationships. The results of this study showed that there are subjects that are commonly avoided. These include:
Relationships from the past: This can just be a bomb ticking away and ready to blow up any chance for a relationship.
Controversial and sensitive subjects: You may not want to get into a hot political or religious debate, although it will be good to know what a prospective partner’s views are on those subjects before jumping into a relationship.
Relationship actions: Why wouldn’t you want to know how someone feels about public displays of affection and other important things like that?
Activities not involving both of you: This may cover the heading of Girls or Boys Night Out.
Where the relationship is heading: This is a subject that may need to come up eventually but probably not at the beginning.
Some of these subjects actually SHOULD be discussed by couples at some point for various reasons. However, the number one subject in this study that seems to be a big no-no is that of past relationships and that may actually be a good thing. Most people felt that the past should stay in the past. Do you really want to compare yourself to an ex? That can make you feel insecure. Sometimes knowing too much can lessen the relationship.
The good reasons for getting into some of these subjects include:
Learning what each other likes sexually by talking over past experiences.
Understanding what each of you needs and expects from a relationship.
Working to build trust by talking through just enough experiences to enhance the relationship without going through so much of it that one or both of you is insecure.
Being intimate enough to fully accept each other.
Talking about your physical health so as to be protected from such things as STDs.
Of course, studies are conducted to see what the general consensus on things is. They don’t mean that you need to take their results seriously if you truly disagree with them. Instead, you should consider a subject carefully before you decide to bring it up with someone you’re interested in. Think about how your questions and the answers you receive can impact the relationship long term. You may also want to consider whether or not a subject will keep you from ever fully entering a relationship you think you want to have. The answers to some of the questions from the study can definitely be life changing. For instance, if you have rather lax views on religion, and aren’t even sure that you ARE religious; you’re not going to mesh well with someone that’s at the church every time the doors are open.
Just carefully consider how to bring up sensitive subjects with someone you like. A good approach can make all the difference.
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