With so many relationship experts in business these days, it seems that there would be more happy couples and fewer breakups in the world of relationships. These experts have spent time studying relationships and what makes good ones and what kills them. When so many couples are asking for advice, why is that so few people actually listen and follow the advice that they’re given?
There are a few reasons for this but the biggest one is that the advice is usually not what they want to hear. For instance, if someone asks what they should do about their abusive partner and they’re told they should leave as fast as possible, it’s not the answer they want. They want to hear that there’s counseling or other ways to change their partner’s behavior. In fact, they want to hear anything except that they need to leave. Since they don’t want to hear it, they’re not going to follow it.
In the end, people will do what they like whether it’s the best thing to do or not. They’ll do whatever is easier for them because, many times, the best thing for someone isn’t always the easiest to do. If they should leave, they stay because it’s within their comfort zone. On the other hand, if they should stay, they’ll leave because it’s what they’ve already decided they want to do. There’s nothing that you can do other than to listen to the situation and offer your best advice.
When so many people refuse to listen to the advice they have actually sought out, it makes you wonder why anyone bothers to even offer relationship advice at all. Since you already know that the majority of people that ask for your advice aren’t actually going to follow it, you may feel it’s a waste of your time. However, that’s not actually true. While these people may not want to hear what you’re telling them, they WILL remember it. Your advice will stay in their subconscious only to come forth when something else happens that makes them question their relationship. They’ll use that advice to validate their new decisions.
Suppose someone involved with a serial cheater comes to you for advice as to what to do. You’ve given them every reason under the sun to leave this unhealthy relationship ranging from a massive hit to their self-esteem to the threat of such diseases as HIV and AIDS. Yet, they still stay with this individual. However, one day, something will happen that will make your advice suddenly make sense to them. They’ll use that advice to give them the impetus they need to get out the door.
That’s why your advice CAN do a great deal of good even when it wasn’t appreciated or followed the first time around. It doesn’t matter when your advice kicks in. It only matters that it DOES suddenly make sense and helps the person to do what they need to do regarding an unhealthy relationship.
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